down in the dumps
Down in the dumps... Get it? You will. To be completely honest, I’ve been freaking out. Sadly, today was only the third day of class and already I find myself struggling for breath. But this would be a boring, depressing story. Instead, let’s talk about the little convenience we like to call, “running water”.
I have turned down a camping invite to Rock Island two consecutive summers, citing lack of running water as my scapegoat excuse. After all, my everyday hygiene habits, such as hand-washing, teeth-brushing, showering, toilet-flushing, dish-washing, etc., require the use of such a luxury. Basically, I like me some running water. Huge fan right here.
For this reason, it is uncool for the little punks to turn off my water for large chunks of the day, no matter what legitimate, necessary reasons they may have. The mere knowledge that I cannot flush the toilet makes my bladder contract more than its usual activity. It’s like getting the urge to urinate right in the middle some long event as you sit in the middle of a crowded auditorium and intermission ended 7 minutes ago. At this point, you know you must hold the piss in (no matter how painful) and this becomes the only thing you can think about for the next hour and 23 minutes.
However, the need to urinate is the better of two unfortunate biological needs a person can experience while their water is shut off. I for one do not attempt to be ladylike. I belch in public and often announce the fact that I have a grundy and then proceed to pick my undies from their improper position. And yet, I constantly deny the fact that I have ever farted or even poop. I refuse the idea and write it off as purely ludicrous. However, yesterday, while the water was on the outs, my tummy was in an unsettled state. I was fairly positive that holding anything in my body for the hours it would take for the water to be turned back on was simply not healthy. I decided that it would also not be academically wise to leave the situation unresolved during my three hour night class. What was a girl to do?
I have never been able to perform such activities in a public restroom. My body does not allow it. However, yesterday I left for class early in an attempt to find a quiet, little-used restroom in which to relieve myself. I succeeded, though I felt slightly dirty after having done so.
I cannot believe I have just written this all out. I’ve just shared a poop story with the world. I’m pretty sure this is wrong on many levels.
enjoy and I’m sorry
I have turned down a camping invite to Rock Island two consecutive summers, citing lack of running water as my scapegoat excuse. After all, my everyday hygiene habits, such as hand-washing, teeth-brushing, showering, toilet-flushing, dish-washing, etc., require the use of such a luxury. Basically, I like me some running water. Huge fan right here.
For this reason, it is uncool for the little punks to turn off my water for large chunks of the day, no matter what legitimate, necessary reasons they may have. The mere knowledge that I cannot flush the toilet makes my bladder contract more than its usual activity. It’s like getting the urge to urinate right in the middle some long event as you sit in the middle of a crowded auditorium and intermission ended 7 minutes ago. At this point, you know you must hold the piss in (no matter how painful) and this becomes the only thing you can think about for the next hour and 23 minutes.
However, the need to urinate is the better of two unfortunate biological needs a person can experience while their water is shut off. I for one do not attempt to be ladylike. I belch in public and often announce the fact that I have a grundy and then proceed to pick my undies from their improper position. And yet, I constantly deny the fact that I have ever farted or even poop. I refuse the idea and write it off as purely ludicrous. However, yesterday, while the water was on the outs, my tummy was in an unsettled state. I was fairly positive that holding anything in my body for the hours it would take for the water to be turned back on was simply not healthy. I decided that it would also not be academically wise to leave the situation unresolved during my three hour night class. What was a girl to do?
I have never been able to perform such activities in a public restroom. My body does not allow it. However, yesterday I left for class early in an attempt to find a quiet, little-used restroom in which to relieve myself. I succeeded, though I felt slightly dirty after having done so.
I cannot believe I have just written this all out. I’ve just shared a poop story with the world. I’m pretty sure this is wrong on many levels.
enjoy and I’m sorry
posted by that girl at
5:59 PM
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