Dear Mr Impatient,

-It seems as though you have some sort of uncomfortable object stuffed up your rear. I cannot imagine that feels very well. It seems to be making you a bit on the grumpy-puss side. This is most likely the reason for your complete lack of patience and civility. I also sense some sarcasm. Are you upset about something? Would you like some assistance in the removal of your apparent bum plug? I'd be more than happy to lend you a hand, and proceed to shove the removed object down your throat perhaps?
-Has your mother taught you no decency? That's right. I have just insulted your mother. I do apologize for that. Really. Perhaps you had an awful day, worthy of cantankerous behavior. Perhaps I should give you a break and disregard your actions this time. After all, it's only logical that you take your frustration out on everyone else, as I grin and maintain my friendly demeanor. I assure you, it is an effortless task, even after enduring many long hours of hell.
-I cannot blame you for such things. After all, you are better than me. You are wearing fancy pants and I'm sure your car is an impressive one. I'm positive that your job is more important and glamorous than mine and you come from an important, wealthy family. I am happy that your housekeeper has the ability to comply with your every demand, and in under two minutes. How wonderful for you. I envy you. A man like you need not consider things other than themselves. Your time is more important than anything else. It's about time people start realizing this. I do warn you, however, karma can be a pest.
-With untruthful admiration,
A human unworthy of your repulsive personality