lots
The summer of working is over and I am sitting in my apartment back at school. I'm here early because of the job I got up here, which makes things strange because my three roommates will not arrive until Sunday. Organizing everything is just foolish, since I will move it all later anyway, so it'll just remain everywhere for now.
I really looked forward to getting back here and having the opportunity to have a life again. However, now that I'm here, I just have very strange and mixed feelings about it all. I comforted myself with the thought that the upside to neglecting friendships all summer would be that it wouldn't be hard to say goodbye, that I wouldn't be leaving anything behind. I talked to friends rarely and saw them even less. All I ever did was work, and I figured that working would not be something that I would have to worry about missing at summer's end. I detached myself.
--The summer proved to be a strange one. I met a lot of people, a lot of different, unique people. I think my overall experience and exposure the past couple of months really changed me. It's really interesting how different peoples lives, ideals, values, and personalities are. I developed a respect and acceptance for everyone. It's fascinating how much your first impression of someone can change after you get to know them. Initial judgments just aren't fair. And just because someone has different views and beliefs, that doesn't make them a bad person. Sometimes, there more like you than you think. And you can learn from them, have experiences you otherwise wouldn't.--
...and I seem to have gotten off on a tangent. Where was I?
I detached myself. My subconscious plan failed, however. I developed relationships with people at work. Being friends with people you work with is convenient because even when you do nothing but work, you still see them. Sure they aren't the strongest friendships ever, but I'll be missing a couple of those folks. Chris and Allison and Steve and Tyler and Joe and maybe even Sean. I never had to pretend to be anyone with them, just me. I'd also like to have that second date. I could see myself really liking him. Timing is just inconvenient.
I was sitting in my car the other day, waiting for time to pass, when I heard a new song. I felt like breaking down and crying right there in the middle of the stupid parking lot, but I think I have lost my ability to cry. It was the song "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson. If I didn't know better, I'd say that I wrote the song about myself and that the "you" in the song is a combination of random people, but mostly ME. Maybe I could do my own version and sing "because of ME". It's funny how much I hide from people sometimes. Actually, that's probably not funny.
What a downer.
I really looked forward to getting back here and having the opportunity to have a life again. However, now that I'm here, I just have very strange and mixed feelings about it all. I comforted myself with the thought that the upside to neglecting friendships all summer would be that it wouldn't be hard to say goodbye, that I wouldn't be leaving anything behind. I talked to friends rarely and saw them even less. All I ever did was work, and I figured that working would not be something that I would have to worry about missing at summer's end. I detached myself.
--The summer proved to be a strange one. I met a lot of people, a lot of different, unique people. I think my overall experience and exposure the past couple of months really changed me. It's really interesting how different peoples lives, ideals, values, and personalities are. I developed a respect and acceptance for everyone. It's fascinating how much your first impression of someone can change after you get to know them. Initial judgments just aren't fair. And just because someone has different views and beliefs, that doesn't make them a bad person. Sometimes, there more like you than you think. And you can learn from them, have experiences you otherwise wouldn't.--
...and I seem to have gotten off on a tangent. Where was I?
I detached myself. My subconscious plan failed, however. I developed relationships with people at work. Being friends with people you work with is convenient because even when you do nothing but work, you still see them. Sure they aren't the strongest friendships ever, but I'll be missing a couple of those folks. Chris and Allison and Steve and Tyler and Joe and maybe even Sean. I never had to pretend to be anyone with them, just me. I'd also like to have that second date. I could see myself really liking him. Timing is just inconvenient.
I was sitting in my car the other day, waiting for time to pass, when I heard a new song. I felt like breaking down and crying right there in the middle of the stupid parking lot, but I think I have lost my ability to cry. It was the song "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson. If I didn't know better, I'd say that I wrote the song about myself and that the "you" in the song is a combination of random people, but mostly ME. Maybe I could do my own version and sing "because of ME". It's funny how much I hide from people sometimes. Actually, that's probably not funny.
What a downer.
posted by that girl at
9:02 PM
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