who's your dentist?
The following are the calculations of a math major and the horrors of a roommate. This combination resolves any speculation of error. There is truth in the words you will read, to the misfortune of many.
~I've gone through three tubes of toothpaste since September. My roommate on the other hand is still on her first tube. In my opinion that is a big difference, and I'm a little concerned for the health of her gums and the longevity of her assumed plaque ridden teeth. Just to clarify, this tube she is ever-so-slowly making her way through is merely dented. It is not as if she is even almost finished with the thing.
~At this rate, (if my calculations are correct) it'll take her at least another 16 months until the last bit is squeezed out. That would make the tube last a record-breaking 24 months. For all you calendar savvy people out there, that's 2 years to finish 1 tube of toothpaste. I am disturbed, not to mention utterly confused seeing as though I'm going through them at a rate of 2.67 months per tube. That's almost 9 times faster.
~Now, let's give the girl the benefit of the doubt. She has gone home almost every weekend. (don't mistake this for me complaining about such things) That's about 10 days every month that she hasn't been here, making a total of 80 days to be subtracted from her usage. However, I've also gone home maybe 6 weekends, so really we'll subtract 68 days. So we'll give her about 2.2 month's leeway for weekends. (following me?) Also, I can be kinda anal about brushing my own teeth, doing so numerous times a day. In addition, one could argue that perhaps she uses less toothpaste than I do per brushing. Figuring in these variables, we'll cut her another half a tube's slack. There can be no difference in the quality of toothpaste, as we use the same brand. So there's no variable to consider there. Also, her tube is 6.2 ounces, as all three of mine have been.
~Figuring in the 2.2 months for weekends, we'll say the tube lasts her about 21.8 months. With the half a tube difference because of my obsessive brushing, we figure that it would be 3.2 months per tube. This makes the consumption of toothpaste 6.8 times slower for this girl I share a room with. After considering all of these things, using a tube of toothpaste 6.8 times slower still seems like a cause for concern.
~I wonder if her dentist is aware of this. I'm sure anyone in the dental profession would warn that going through a tube any more than 1.37 times slower than normal is a risk not worth taking. Does she not care about herself? Cavities hurt. Dentures are a hassle. Also, teeth covered in plaque simply are not attractive. This brings me to wonder how she has a boyfriend while I do not. Do boys enjoy kissing a girl with fuzzy teeth? Why, God? Why does the girl that obviously (to the horror of dentists everywhere) does not use toothpaste have a boyfriend and I don't? (Let's pretend to not remember that her boyfriend is not worth being jealous of... yuck)
that is all
~I've gone through three tubes of toothpaste since September. My roommate on the other hand is still on her first tube. In my opinion that is a big difference, and I'm a little concerned for the health of her gums and the longevity of her assumed plaque ridden teeth. Just to clarify, this tube she is ever-so-slowly making her way through is merely dented. It is not as if she is even almost finished with the thing.
~At this rate, (if my calculations are correct) it'll take her at least another 16 months until the last bit is squeezed out. That would make the tube last a record-breaking 24 months. For all you calendar savvy people out there, that's 2 years to finish 1 tube of toothpaste. I am disturbed, not to mention utterly confused seeing as though I'm going through them at a rate of 2.67 months per tube. That's almost 9 times faster.
~Now, let's give the girl the benefit of the doubt. She has gone home almost every weekend. (don't mistake this for me complaining about such things) That's about 10 days every month that she hasn't been here, making a total of 80 days to be subtracted from her usage. However, I've also gone home maybe 6 weekends, so really we'll subtract 68 days. So we'll give her about 2.2 month's leeway for weekends. (following me?) Also, I can be kinda anal about brushing my own teeth, doing so numerous times a day. In addition, one could argue that perhaps she uses less toothpaste than I do per brushing. Figuring in these variables, we'll cut her another half a tube's slack. There can be no difference in the quality of toothpaste, as we use the same brand. So there's no variable to consider there. Also, her tube is 6.2 ounces, as all three of mine have been.
~Figuring in the 2.2 months for weekends, we'll say the tube lasts her about 21.8 months. With the half a tube difference because of my obsessive brushing, we figure that it would be 3.2 months per tube. This makes the consumption of toothpaste 6.8 times slower for this girl I share a room with. After considering all of these things, using a tube of toothpaste 6.8 times slower still seems like a cause for concern.
~I wonder if her dentist is aware of this. I'm sure anyone in the dental profession would warn that going through a tube any more than 1.37 times slower than normal is a risk not worth taking. Does she not care about herself? Cavities hurt. Dentures are a hassle. Also, teeth covered in plaque simply are not attractive. This brings me to wonder how she has a boyfriend while I do not. Do boys enjoy kissing a girl with fuzzy teeth? Why, God? Why does the girl that obviously (to the horror of dentists everywhere) does not use toothpaste have a boyfriend and I don't? (Let's pretend to not remember that her boyfriend is not worth being jealous of... yuck)
that is all
posted by that girl at
7:27 PM
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