simplicity faded
It's beautiful how simplistic kids think. I wish I could go back to that. Why do things become more complicated as we get older? Why over analyze? Why not just let things be?
I just had an eerie flashback. Back to the days of a crammed household, with the foosball table and bookcase shoved in the smallest room ever created. Stickers tarnished the top of the yellow bookcase filled with a variety of books to please the parents, the brothers, and the sisters. As my siblings play a game of foosball, I brows the collection and stumble upon some religious children's books. As a curious child, I ask about one of the books. The full conversation that followed is incomplete in my mind so many years later. However, I do recall being told that God was always with us. I was slightly confused by this. It is hard for a young person to grasp a concept like this when they cannot see it. They explained that He is everywhere, even though we cannot see Him. I asked, "So He can be right here, standing right next to me right now? And He's over there by you too? And downstairs at the same time?" I accepted it. I trusted in the wisdom of my older siblings, and wise they were. It was so simple. God was standing next to me, on both sides of me, watching over me, making sure I behaved, and keeping me safe. I couldn't see Him, but He was there. I remember being almost afraid that I would bump into Him. It was a small room after all. He was crammed into the crowded room with the rest of us.
Now, years later, do I still believe this in the same, innocent way I did back then? You would think that after so much time to think, learn, and reflect on your beliefs you would have a better understanding. However, things have complicated. The simplicity of childhood is gone. Confusion, second guessing, and analytical thinking has set in. Yes, I believe in God, but do I believe that He is sitting next to me right now?
Is that breeze God, or is it just the wind?
I just had an eerie flashback. Back to the days of a crammed household, with the foosball table and bookcase shoved in the smallest room ever created. Stickers tarnished the top of the yellow bookcase filled with a variety of books to please the parents, the brothers, and the sisters. As my siblings play a game of foosball, I brows the collection and stumble upon some religious children's books. As a curious child, I ask about one of the books. The full conversation that followed is incomplete in my mind so many years later. However, I do recall being told that God was always with us. I was slightly confused by this. It is hard for a young person to grasp a concept like this when they cannot see it. They explained that He is everywhere, even though we cannot see Him. I asked, "So He can be right here, standing right next to me right now? And He's over there by you too? And downstairs at the same time?" I accepted it. I trusted in the wisdom of my older siblings, and wise they were. It was so simple. God was standing next to me, on both sides of me, watching over me, making sure I behaved, and keeping me safe. I couldn't see Him, but He was there. I remember being almost afraid that I would bump into Him. It was a small room after all. He was crammed into the crowded room with the rest of us.
Now, years later, do I still believe this in the same, innocent way I did back then? You would think that after so much time to think, learn, and reflect on your beliefs you would have a better understanding. However, things have complicated. The simplicity of childhood is gone. Confusion, second guessing, and analytical thinking has set in. Yes, I believe in God, but do I believe that He is sitting next to me right now?
Is that breeze God, or is it just the wind?
posted by that girl at
3:42 PM
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